Bun baking is a slow process & can't be rushed!

Today I found out my "bun baking" is not rising very quickly & is on "a bit of a go slow" as quoted by a new Dr that I saw today.I'm going to follow with tradition & give him a name like all my fellow infertile bloggers,so I'm going to call him Dr Polite(I thought about Dr nice,but there all nice at my clinic).I thought it was strange when he said I was on "a go slow" as on my last IVF I "matured" really quickly,in 11 days as opposed to the normal 14, but I didn't really read to much into it, then he started to look at my follicles & only found between 4-5,was a gutted at this as last time I had about 18 follicles & 11 eggs collected, so I thought it would be the same, but Dr Polite told me that no IVF cycle was the same & as long as I've got more than 1 follie I'm still in the game! Dr Polite also found quite a few cysts but said this was nothing to worry about. So they've upped my Gonal-F dosage to 375 & I've gotta go back Friday for another scan.

Now, I thought theres two ways I can handle this....either go to pieces & worry myself silly over the next few days,or just get on with things, so I opted for the second descion, Theres no point in worrying myself stupid on something that I have absolutely no control over,in fact we don't have control over any of the IVF cycle(apart from how much drugs we have to take) the only thing we are certain of is that at the end its either going to be a positive or a negative.

So I'm determined not to worry,although actually doing this may prove hard,but I'm going to give it a go. I spent my last IVF cycle worrying myself sick over the slightest little thing & when It didn't work I was crushed & devastated, but my strength & courage WILL get me through this time! I'm alot stronger this time & my outlook & attitude is different.

I listened alot to a song after the last ivf & theres a certain line that summed up how I felt,it goes like this:

I feel just like I'm sinking & I claw for solid ground, pulled down by the undertones, never thought I could feel so low, in all darkness I feel like letting go. If all of the strength & all of the courage comes & lifts me from this place,I no I can love you much better than this, full of grace.

I no it seems depressing, but It really helped me come to terms with my feelings, and that is why I no I can do this, because I have strength & courage, & whatever the outcome I will survive & do it again if I have to. Strength & courage ladies, strength & courage & we will all achieve are dreams.

Praying for a good rise,

Mrs K xx