Wednesday, 2 June 2010

Baking in Progress!!

Sorry its taken so long for me to update my blog, I will try not to ramble on to much, but apologies if I do!
So on Tuesday 27th April I found out that my IVF treatment had work, I WAS PREGNANT!!! To say I was shocked (well both of us really) was an understatement! Compared to my last IVF cycle (which was horrendous!), this one was a breeze! But I was convinced it hadn't worked as 4 days after my transfer I had really bad pains in my tummy,not like period pains,they were very strange,but they started at midday & went right the way through till 10pm that night, then nothing, deep down I had prepared myself for the worst. The day before my test was the worst as last time I started bleeding the day before my test, so I was constantly in the loo "checking", Dave was ill due to worrying as well & by the end of the day when my AF hadn't reared its ugly head I began to have a very small amount of hope that I mite be pregnant.

I didn't sleep at all well that night, I knew I had to hold my wee wees for a minimum of 6 hrs!(forgot to say that on the Saturday night I had started peeing mega amounts during the night) so knew this was going to be hell! Told myself I had to wake up at 1am for my last "wee stop" of the night,then no more, easier said than done, 4am I was busting to go again & had to hold it, not a good move! Any way to pass the time I pictured myself phoning my mum in the morning to tell her it hadn't worked again, I tried to picture this over & over again to try & prepare myself, but for some reason the picture that kept reappearing was one of me telling her I was pregnant.

At 6am I couldn't hold it anymore, told Dave to quickly let the dogs out for a wee & I would wait for him before I did the test, last time I peed on the stick & Dave watched for the result, this time I wanted to witness the change for myself.So when he came back I rushed into the bathroom to do it, & he said oh my god I need the loo! thankfully we have another loo upstairs, & as I was mid pee there was no way I was stopping, not after I'd been holding it for 5 hours!

So I peed & waited on my own. Last time I had a digital pregnancy test that either said "pregnant" or "not pregnant", I hate these tests as its almost like its taunting you if your not pregnant, so I couldn't bear to use one of these tests ever again! This time I had the good old 2 lines for positive, 1 line for negative ( no taunting involved!)Watching that stick change was amazing, I knew as soon as the first line came up that it had worked, cos if its negative the line only comes up on the right hand side, & this line came up on the left side first, then the right, I just sat there in shock ( all this time Dave is still on the loo oblivious to it all). After a minute or two I just said in a very flat voice "Dave I've done it", he rushed out the bathroom going "well,what is it?"I handed him the stick & said"I cant believe it, I cant believe it,oh my god I cant believe it, its worked" I was shaking & he hugged me said "oh my god Jack, I bloody knew it had!", my reply "I've gotta lie down".I was in complete shock, but I knew I had to call my mum as she would be waiting for news, & I couldn't wait to tell her she was going to be a nanny! When I called she said she had been awake since 5am worrying as well, but when I told her she was going to be a nanny she started to cry, I don't think she could believe it either, then I had to phone daves mum & two sisters as I knew they would also be waiting for news, & they all cried as well! Ive got to say I think it was the most emotional day of my life! I phoned my clinic & left a message for them to call me back,& when my fav nurse called she was like, good news,bad news??? I screamed "bloody excellent news!!"she was so happy for me as she had seen me at my lowest last year after the failed attempt & she is brilliant at her job!

I wont waffle on for to much longer,spent the rest of the day in a daze really(& 6weeks later im still in a daze!)

Its strange though,cos no matter how hard I thought the IVF was,being pregnant is a million times harder, I have tried not to but I have worried constantly,worried about first scan,now worry about second scan & it goes on & on & on, but I'm trying my hardest not to worry(easier said than done) as I don't want to look back & say I worried the whole time, but I know that will never go away completely, so I'm trying to focus on all the good things,this precious, miracle life growing inside me ( which I still cant get used to!) & my wonderful husband & family who have been with me all the way!!

So now we've just gotta wait for the bun to bake!!

love Mrs K xx

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