Recieved this today & thought I would share it with you all:
Nicknames: If Laura,Kate & Sarah go out to lunch,they will call each other Laura,Kate & Sarah.
If Mike,Dave & John go out,they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat boy,Godzilla & Nut job!
Eating Out:when the bill arives Mike,Dave & John will each throw in £20,even though its only £32.50.None of them will have anything smaller & none will admit they want the change!
When the girls get their bill,out come the pocket calculators.
Money:A man will pay £2 for a £1 item he needs.
A woman will pay£1 for a £2 item that doesnt need but its on sale.
Bathrooms: A man has 6 items in his bathroom: toothbrush & toothpaste,shaving cream,razor,a bar of soap & a towel.
the average number of items in the typical womans bathroom is 337! A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.
Arguments:A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
Future: A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
Success:A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
Marriage: A woman marries a man expecting he will change,but he doesnt.
A man marries a woman expecting that she wont change,but she does.
Dressing Up: A woman will dress up to go shopping,water the plants,empty the bins,answer the phone,read a book,and get the post.
A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.
Natural: Men wake up as good looking as they went to bed.
Woman somehow deteriorate during the night.
Offspring:Ah,children. A woman knows about dentist appointments and romances,best friends,favourite foods,secret fears,hopes & dreams.
A man is vaguely aware ofsome short people living in the house.
Thought for the day: A married man should forget his mistakes.Theres no use in two people remembering the same thing!
SO,tell all your lady friends who have a sense of humour.......& to the men who will enjoy hearing it!!!
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