Thursday, 4 August 2011

The buns out the oven!!!

Its been a VERY long time since my last post,6 months in fact! I cant believe its gone by so quick! I just had a read through my previous post(& had a little weep) & it still fells like yesterday,I remember the 6th January so well! its weird to think that 2.5 hrs after writing that post i had my first contraction. my only regret is that i haven't done more posts to document all the ups & downs we've been through as we became a family of 3(+ 3 dogs,5 chickens & 2 ferrets!) My main reason of starting this blog was so that at some point id be able to save it all for Freddy to read when he got older, but there never seemed enough time in the day, so I'll have to try & catch up over the next weeks(months!)

So yes, after that post Dave & i were having dinner & i felt a strange sensation in my tummy,it wasn't even a pain, but i just knew that this was it & it was all going to start, and i think it slapped me in the face then that junior was on his way out!

So i did the only thing i remember to do that id been told about,"relax & don't panic", which is strange because while i was pregnant i thought the minute i went into labour it would be all over for me,that id have a complete meltdown,crying "no Dave i cant do this,i don't want him to come out now!" but i surprised myself, i stopped eating and turned to Dave & said very calmly,"Dave i think I'm going into labour", He replied "i know!"

at that point i went & had a bath as i figured it would be a long night & i wanted to pass some time & just be with my big fat belly one last time in the bath,I wanted to have our last bath together(although it turned out that wasn't to be!)

I remember tweeting in the bath,though I didn't tell anyone that I had gone into labour just in case it was a false alarm.

Anyway fast forward a few hrs & about 9pm i had a,how do i put it politely,a major clear out if you know wot I mean! that's when I knew it was all systems go!

So I spent from 9-10pm timing contractions,which were from 3.5-4 mins apart,so phoned the maternity unit & midwife said to call again when contractions were over a minute long & not so long apart. I sent Dave to bed as all he wanted to do was film me in labour,which I was not very happy about! I was quite surprised at how quick my contractions progressed as by 1am they were over a minute long & very frequent,so i went to get Dave up so we could go,went to the loo & that's when I lost the plot, Istarted to bleed really heavily,panicked & screamed to Dave "oh my god I'm bleeding,phone the hospital!!" I thought the placenta was coming away and I was going to lose junior. So Dave was tell the midwife all this & she was like "oh its only a show, is it just a bit of pink mucus?tell her to put a pad in & call us later" I was screaming at Dave"ITS NOT A BLOODY SHOW,THERES LOADS OF BLOOD & MY CONTRACTIONS ARE A MINUTE AND HALF APART!" and she still said," yeah phone us later" with that Dave shouted at her and said we were coming in NOW! And when we went outside it was like a scene from a Sherlock Holmes episode,thick fog and we couldn't see more that 10ft in front of the car,and its a 30 min drive to the hospital on a good day & I just remember thinking,oh my god I'm going to give birth in the car!

We finally got to the hospital bout 2.30am only to be met by horrible midwife on the phone,midwife Doreen! First thing she said,"right lets have a look at all this blood then",nothing there!"see" she says"nothing there!""do me a sample in that put it on the bin" & left the room. When i went to the loo, cue loads of blood,I said to Dave "I'm not moving till she comes back & shes seen all this blood" so Dave took the sample whilst we wait for the ray of Sunshine's return!

When she eventually came back i showed her & she said,"like i said its only a show" to which i replied"well if id been told wot a show was really like instead of being told its just a bit of pink mucus then id know that wouldn't I!" then she asked for the wee sample which unbeknown to me Dave had put in the bin! Cue angry midwife now!"I didn't tell you to put it IN the bin, i said On the bin!" Dave felt like a naughty school boy then. "right,we'll put the monitor on you & see wots going on" Doreen barks,"shall i bring her bags in?" Dave's asks meekly"NO we don't know if your staying yet", so on goes the monitor & she leaves. "bloody hell Dave,i hope I don't have her all the way through,how the hell did she become a midwife?" "dunno" says Dave "but she bloody scares me". so we wait in silence,apart from the odd quiet moan from me(I'm frightened Doreen will tell me off if I make to much noise)& then she returns about 3.30am and states "oh your are in labour!" no shit Sherlock I say in my head! "right lets examine you & see how many centimeters you are". this is the part i like cos while she examines me my waters brake all over her,I'm silently laughing to myself, and she goes to leave........" many centimeters am i then?" i need to know this so I no roughly how long me & Doreen are going to be stuck with one another,"oh" she says "7 centimeters,well done for getting that far on your own"& just like that she changed it not nice Doreen! Thankfully half an hour later at 4am Doreen finishes and i get the most fantastic midwife EVER! the lovely Scottish Lorraine(no not kelly!) at this point i beg for some pain relief as Ive not had a thing,not even a whiff of gas & air! she looks at my notes & sees that I'm allergic to morphine "hhmmm...I'll have to check with the doctor wot you can have,but try the gas & air for now", Jesus,Ive never had such a quick head rush as i did from that first intake of gas, it was like Friday nights all over again from years gone by,i felt drunk!

Any way the lovely Lorraine comes back & explains that no i cant have anything, due to the lack of emergency doctors on,if they gave me an epidural or pethidine(both of which are morphine based)& something went wrong there wouldn't be anyone to attend to me,so basically it was gas & air & nothing else...............SHIT!! my worst nightmare came true,pain pain & more pain & nothing to do to dull it! Then Lorraine mentions the birthing pool is empty & would i like to go in there! YES YES YES!! this was the one thing i hoped for in labour all through my pregnancy,but was told your very lucky if you can get in there as theres only one pool.

so we all decamp to the pool & Ive got to say it was FAB!

one thing i should mention at this point is that Christmas eve i watched my one & only episode of One Born Every minute on C4, & one of the ladies(who was in labour) said to her husband "oh my god i think the baby's coming to come out my bum" at which i was in hysterics saying "silly cow,coming out of her bum, ha ha ha!" and it was only when i got in the pool i turned to Dave & Lorraine & said "oh my god I'm either going to have a poo or the babies coming out my bum!" i take back all my laughing Mrs OBEM!

Lorraine reassured me that neither of these actions were going to happen,thank god! So at about 6am i was ready to push junior into the world,only my contractions stopped! so we waited & we waited...............6 minutes in fact in between contractions! & every time i felt him progress down 5 mils it felt like he went back 20 mils!

it then got to about 7.15am and i heard Lorraine say to the assisting midwife that if he didn't come out by 7.30 then they have to get me out & pull him out! so i had to summons all my energy to get him out,no way was i getting outta that pool now,so with every contraction Dave,Lorraine & Sharon(assisiting mw)pushed me on to push that little bitter harder & little bit longer, even when i whimper "i cant push any harder"(can i say at this point how proud i was of myself as i didnt scream out in pain,although all my family never believed this till we made them watch the video!LOL! i just did wot Lorraine told me & she told me not to waste energy on screaming) & then with every breath i had in my body i pushed junior out! i cannot begin to tell you how amazing & surreal it was to see his head underwater looking around! we stayed like that for awhile waiting for the next contraction,half in the oven half out! then "whoosh" he was out & caught by the lovely Lorraine!

Welcome to the world Freddy James Junior at 7.45am!

she placed him on my chest & he cried & i said those words I've waited to say for so many years "its alright,mummys here" & cried happy tears.

After that i was just in a daze, I'd waited so long to meet this little fella & now here he was, just perfect.

Id rather not say to much about the stitching up,found it all a bit traumatic after the midwife had ago then had to get the head doctor to have a few goes,i passed out with the pain.

So here he was,my very own bun which i had cooked to a plump 7lb 5oz, perfect in every way!!

Love Mrs K xxx


  1. Just had a little cry reading your birthing story - and a big laugh out loud at the bum bit!

    Thanks for sharing & I hope Freddy enjoys reading about his birth one day.


  2. Hi jacqui, thanks for your message, they were the cards I made for Ruth, I'm her neighbour. Glad you liked them, my email address is if you'd like to order anything that's no problem, send me an email and I'll give you my phone number or leave me yours which ever is easiest.
    Thanks Wendy.